guess he must be busy

friday the 16th..other numbers...its a great day in our household..Im in Phoenix...thinking about Han Solo flying over fleece white clouds, rippled softly in the cold sunlight of the high sky atmospher...redundant that, sky/atmosphere but still...what it was...woman asleep next to mee, mouth wide open, whacked into slumber by fatigue, rattling breath of deep sleep...extremely bad breath upon waking...not quite sour as 'decomposed'..beside her 'hair on one side' woman..and I think of the Indians below us, their beliefs..a set of wind turbines in a neat little patch..right at the top of the valley...oh the birds are trapped in it...looking as though the birds designed the spot it is in to catch the updraft of the turbine thrust and lift off for the further reaches of South America at times like this when most of the flocks are already on their way to Guatemala and points south..  in my backyard they stop for a bite on their way out from up North...goodbye till next spring they say...cranes staying behind to catch up on the reed weaving, nest building, tide coaxing...come this way little waters...I think about the Indian influence, earth keepers, what they do...the religious/philosophical outlay of their projections and that they did come here first from other worlds, not evolved into it as our legends would have us beheve..our evolutionary theories, what are they? darwinian sciences quite objectively involved to convolute a more intense history...but then, not my problem all that, I live near a reservation in the Pacific Northwest and what it relates to my subject this morning is that the water provides the earthen freshness needed to reconstitute the very old spirit of Han Solo the traveler of other worlds as a renegade from the overpowering sources of the Empire...did we have one of those?  well, there was the tobacco god and the wine god and we asked them please substitute grief for the places in our minds where you would build homes and when grief has sustained you past your welcome there take another road, and so far those spirits seem to listen...some of us need reborn, little solo is greatly sustained by his 'slept like a baby' encreaturing...and the grandson that represents him, another entity entirely, not unlike my own grafted children, whom I would hope are sustained by having been my own, forever after...there is a strange wind howling for the moment...it is phoenix, mesa actually, wherein I am contained by the lights of dawn and wonder wouldn't I rather fall back to sleep..I didn't bring a book, I miss my little white dog and my little brown dog but they'll be with me soon enough, I've missed my children so much that I've come to them for the holidays but this is what we do...disturb the song cycles of the Hopi just to give Solo a birth...but that wasn't what happened in the end...there came another in which the spirit walkers were disbursed by the old stick broom by my fire...off with you scary one, you like to be called scary because you find humor in our fear and we agree, absorb those memories, diviniations, elements that were animal that were contrived to manhood for the hour that they were, give them back to the sleep of night and walk no more where there can be life...but of course, if you would, join us there and we will show you through our eyes, the light, the dawn the new child..the full heart, the love of parents and where the baby starts, the fresh egg, the catalyst of the lightening bolt..and your ground will be our old fear because you will absorb it..we ask you go away into the freshness of our waking hour if you do not begin with us this day...and there's an amen to that..
it was a hard row to how..the solo entry..Mr. Muswanger..hehe

alan mckelvy and udders...

once upon atime I was in the market for a new apartment and I found one in Mt Pleasant on a tree lined street that turned out to have a giant great dane living upstairs who pooped all over the back yard which was about five feet by ten feet and through which I had to walk in order to get to my place in the basement which flooded like a river the first time it rained heavily because the drain at the front door was covered by big leaves...
the apartment was rented to me by a law student who asked me out...
then another friend of mine tells me there's unmarked cars parking in the alley by my place and do I know why there are unmarked cars surveilling my little crappy abode?
I say no...he says
because that guy you're seeing...his dad used to run the central intelligence agency
no way I say...he says ask'm
ok  so I do...and yeah...like a little squealer standing on the piazza at the Ecuadorian embassy...which the law student was also trying to rent to someone (a greater disaster on a larger scale than my flood prone, poop smelling hacienda)...because it was across the street from the Soviet Embassy..now how did I know that was a scary place?  Idid not...but there it was in black and white and living color...and even today..how many years later...I'm t hinking there's a story in this and there was...and it's not aboutbeating around the bush ...although when you're in bed with a politician you realize...hey, I could be one of those...and I would like to but I rather like to theorize, that's mygame...the what ifs...that embassy had the most beautiful twin ballroom where I got to dance a time or two...jete in a perfect world..
I don't think this computer will add the proper accent to that word but what do I know?
meanwhile...the lawstudent became ancient history and then I was in a steambath downtown with my sixfoot two friend with skin like Barack Obama...oh yeah, smart black cookie lady whom I felt safe walking the streets of the District of Columbia with...although we had a falling out the day I discovered her getting out of bed with a woman...she maintained she was not gay but she was, inevitably...we were pretty good buds until that day...and I never even had an opinion of her actions...I just was there and opened the dorr and she knew that I knew so then she was mad at me for knowing...but then, the steam room day, we're sitting in the sauna with these other chicks...all of us wrapped up in towels and hottern' you know what...and this blonde lady somehow I find out...she is sitting next to me and she is MARRIED to the law student from former days who by now has passed the bar and agreed to a little lunch once upon a time when I was desperate for money for some reason (we were always the very far end of the spectrum politically in those days...still are I'd guess..and never enough bread spread...of course... the now lawyer wants to know why the f I think he's going to buy me a volvo...hehe...I guess I know why he thinks that way because he's got himself a Ludmilla...she was from Ruskya..she said so...and I thought, that's about right..we'll h old all the dollars in the worlld in our little macro applications sponsored through our treasury and it will make sense to discredit us because of that...my hip hurts...and so on into the night...I get a little battered and bleary at the retelling but the gist of it was...there's Miss Eleanor doing those fool jumping jacks and I'm looking at her laughing because her face is getting red from the exertion so then we're in the steam bath and this Ludmilla chick is talking about her husband whom she married and there it is in black and white when he tells me he owes me absolutely nothing and I shouldn't even think about what I could do or would do and don't have a job but have this odd bodyguard for running into Ludmilla?  it's funny...I could make a funny story of it but it is funny anyways see Wesley Snipes as a tranny in that exercise routine and you've kind of got a picture of how I saw it...but Ludmilla...I didn't find that funny at all...talk about a sachet in the underwear drawers...nah...now it's the greatly overweight former administrator of a certain coast guard station who's run off with the paraeducator from the reservation school and conceived a daughter that's now about four...they do seem to love one another

to be continued

from the source...the mermaid on the reef

this is a good day...the sun is out...of course, I have tobe upon theroof doing a bit of this and that, buteh..it's ok..big news isthat I am goingto Phoenix next week..tosee my little grandson, who will be one year old.  he has begun to take steps..he's learning to walk..he's also  saying a few words,  this is so exciting...I'm planning what to bring, what to wear on the traveling part of the trip...and it's also coming around to thanksgiving.  i hope I'll be home in time to cook a turkey for my family..not sure about that though..I'm coming back on standby and that's always a big 'if'...right now I'm at the library waiting for children to appear so that I can do the literacy action campaign we've been encouraged to initiate by our district governor for Lions Club.  I t hink kids must be outside playing today because there's only one young fellow here and he's on the computer..I thought that one had his own but apparently not..
on the other side of the matter, I'm no longer going on calls for the fire district 5 responder service...I'm still considered a student, therefore they think they have enough of a crew to do without the likes of me whodoesn't get on the calls often enough to remember where everything is and goes out in themiddle of the night halfawake without the proper what?  proper..hmmm..I did brush my teeth that last time but you know, I had 'bed' hair and it wouldn't lay down when I brushed it...so, then James of our  last class who was in the coast guard is taking off for a transfer to Florida...and there's a couple of new faces in the new class one of whom is a policeman living out here this could be a good thing for our community, however we like the low key aspects of policing as it has happened here to now...I also got a call yesterday from Childrens about a new young man at my house they were going to call back yesterday afternoon, they did not..I'm leaving next wednesday for about a week and I told them that so maybe they'll get back with me after my return..we'll see...I think also that I'm a little frightened by my financial picture...I want to be brave and know that it will all work out buton the other hand..there are no jobs here, it's comlicated and you could do something over the internet butI haven't figured out what that is...how to do it...I like to write stories, Iw as telling them last night to drewbie and she was saying, well, heck...you should write that down, I know I should write it down but do you kiss and tell?  I don't know that I actually 'kissed' but I didn't tell either, like the time I saw the body being welded into the car at the Wilson Center...guy had a blow torch welder cap with glass visual and never looked up into the dusty window where I was peaking in...the body was laid out behind the steering wheel and it looked like the singer, 'pink'...kind of , that brassy blonde hair...sort of the same body weight...thirty years later I'm being put on administrative leave by my two workmates who I finally told the story to...I didn't say anything to anyone for thirty years and then I do and they think I'm nuts...well, I assume they thought I was nuts because the next thing you know I'm being hauled off to the Intelligence and Investigations exam room, I don't think I had a union rep along and if I did it was probably the one person who wouldn't be very representative (he's more of a mouse than a person??? you get me?)...so I had to tell the story again about the body...how I and my two small children were at the community garden behind the Wilson Center, going to water tomatoes and such...I climb up therickety platform and peak in the building where the autobody business is doing cars and what I see is t he body  being welded into the car bya guy with a blowtorch...that one mailroom worker, her husband committed suicide because she came back from Guatemala enciente...he loved the little boy, Mikie...but ...I guess she was pretty mean to him about the son's origins...so he did himself in...I remember him walking his dalmation up and down the street in front of Michelina Haus...the other person...she was the first one I knew to read Twilight and just raved aboutit like it was the best thing she ever read...she was pretty thick with  Guatemala girl...I imagine they are still holding court in the mailroom...while I think about a good way to describe a body being welded into a car and not get roasted for saying it happened...why I didn't speak before now?  no doubt it was a mob hit...although the Soviet Union was just up the street on 16th...their m bass 'e'...not a friendly atmosphere in that one would th ink...so I didn't speak because I had two small children with me...I never told my husband what I saw...but we moved later that year...or soon, I forget what the timeline was..but to lose my job over it?   doesn't seem fair...not that it was much of a job...and yeah, I did sign to the guatemala girl...'your evil ways frighten me' but she didn't understand that, merely had the intelligence and investigations office record that I had made some kind of weird sign to her that well, that must definitively prove my instability...which, after reading how people were living in their cars, skidding a quarter mile over gravel from a bike spill...showing their unclothed selves to one another...I guess...I'd be a little less prone to be sensible about what it was I was about, giggling, compassionate...something...hard to say...Guatemala girl was busily buying houses and cars from the insurance of her spouse...what I saw...butth en...that's why I didn't see much, because I did...I suppose...it works out t hatway...and now I'm on my way to phoenix in a few days to see little Harrison start to walk and talk...how great...balance the one disappointment with the great joy of the other...what I do..what I'm good at...
I made a deepdish apple pie this morning while I watched a movie 'Legend of Sasquatch'...animated for kids...and meanwhile, still no kids showing up at the library...so I'll go soon,  have to attend to  the roof issue and bring the pie to the Den for the Veterans' Day dinner there on Sunday (tomorrow) at 4...promised to help serve/clean up for that but we'll see if we need me, hehe...
should write something funny about the hilarity of working with people you suspect were cloned at Chernobyl...well I think they were...pretty sure the 'horses' mouth' would fit one of them if not both of them...talk aboutdreading to be around someone...well, there's a can of clams I haven't opened yet...s'all for that and more to come...when I finally feel as though this new kerchief we have...I guess DAd would have said something about it butSpider don't...and the newly repaired roof still leaks so go figure what Frankie Lloyd might want to observe about those marbles and t hat bag...when it gets creaky assume the wooks are in charge, I always say...doubt and fear and lusting over a native american in Neah Bay...about two blocks short of driving a hybrid again I wish...

kATONAHOTTINROOF

IF i ever figure out the caudal element on this laptop I'll be a little more fluent on it...kind of one of those again rainy days and the new roof is leaking as the proverbial sieve..trying to be resilent b ut I actually sat down and cried about it the other day...well, I think it was that I realized I had a crush on someone I saw at Neahby and there he was sitting across from me going like 'yeah, come on' let's do this, so I felt but I was so nervouse and stupid feeling, squirmy, have b een warned this one is a violent dude I guess, who knows..I think I can wrestle my own demons by now and I was sgtupid to kind of ignore him but I didn't ignore him, he's like I dunno, I realized it, that my heart was going boom boom boom hehe..stupid of me, keep saying gthat, I even have his phone in my directory, duh...like for why...but I guess I also think eh he ' my friend who isn't my friend anymore too so thart was something she didn't like him, she doesn't like anyone much but therehe is in living color and I'm very able to get up and go sit in his lap but I don't because I realize what? chicken...could make a year's worth of soup out of how I am...and yeah, he's like wearing the Hillerman hair...so he's going to know about dry places, what?  I don't know...I think stupid, like has been hit on the head by the caveman so all that remains is to be dragged off to the cave, right?  right...and there goes my what is it now 05 to 12 fetish about Russell Crowe duh...I think I hate this keypad, very sensitive, just cause the little pad of my palm is resting on some access feature here the text shrinks and shrinks...so I'm sitting there and trying not to look at him and looking, glancing, you know you get up close and there it goes, he gets the notion, you would want that, I went to his house and there's beer bottles everywhere and he's got a towel wrapped around his waste and his truck was repo'd just like mine...his had a rack of elk antlers hoooked on the back kind of looked dumb but that's what he had now driving a weanie little scotter while mine sits inj the garage going on four years, unassembled...and yeah, that's why I was crying when I got home, because I let it slide right on by me and didn't get into the groove, like I knew I could, man the text has shrunk agvain...