I was alone in the conchshell house all afternoon when they went to the hospital to have the baby. I dressed in some nice clothes but my belly made a mess of them and wouldn't behave. It kept sticking out like a sore thumb and it embarassed me. I thought more about what I was writing of in the Havana story and couldn't come to terms with what it was I wanted to say about that. It had been so vivid in my mind the day before. But then I'd counted six Pabst in the fridge drawer and when I went to have one that evening, they were gone. My son in law said "I think I might have drank them all" which truly didn't bother me but I was interested why he wasn't down on his knees after six of them straight off in four hours. Silly. We had to get more beer last night and it was Coors because he 'has to have that', although the PBR hadn't bothered him. We were talking about the legalisation of marijuana while we waited in line and it was as though someone flipped a metaphysical page in that 7/11 because as hippie as the cashiers appeared, they were doing Kids in the Hall bigtime while the remainders of Saturday Night live, myself and son in law, were not holding up the dialogue very well and I tossed the last of my legal tender on the counter to pay for the CAMELs..
That's where I'm at now...a dread sense of fear that I incorporate into my daily life, will my daughter be fine having the baby, will we be runover on the freeway going to see her andthe new baby? will I wake up in the morning, will the baby wake up in the morning? Like huge thunderclouds announcing the onset of rain, the clouds have broken away this morning by the way, last evening it looked like rain today but it isn't. The baby has come.
I should be going to the hospital to see him some more but I don't know how to drive myself there, there's a freeway or two involved and I don't recall how it's done and the motherinlaw was supposed to pick me up yesterday but she never came. instead the three dragoons, fils, dugouts and echinateri, made it over to my side of the swamp and fetched me away where I stood mesmerized by the sight of this beautiful little boy with the oriental eyes/momentarily. I think he'll be the enchanted one, he's already got that characteristic. When I held him in my arms he was as sweet and angelic as what I imagine heaven to be, the embodiment of it. About as pure as this life gets, that little child. I wanted to cry, moan, but I heard my daughter doing so again in my head and left it off, it had been done. He was here, I was holding him. I didn't say, you little pain in the arse you, making your mother suffer so for the last week, I guess you think you're worth it huh? I bet you do, you little cheeky thing you. Such an angel, just like your mother. That's you all right, Angelo...
That's what he was alright, about a bright a star as ever there was, lying in my arms, glowing bright, pink, clear eyed, a trust within him that could only grow stronger as he matured.
That's where I'm at now...a dread sense of fear that I incorporate into my daily life, will my daughter be fine having the baby, will we be runover on the freeway going to see her andthe new baby? will I wake up in the morning, will the baby wake up in the morning? Like huge thunderclouds announcing the onset of rain, the clouds have broken away this morning by the way, last evening it looked like rain today but it isn't. The baby has come.
I should be going to the hospital to see him some more but I don't know how to drive myself there, there's a freeway or two involved and I don't recall how it's done and the motherinlaw was supposed to pick me up yesterday but she never came. instead the three dragoons, fils, dugouts and echinateri, made it over to my side of the swamp and fetched me away where I stood mesmerized by the sight of this beautiful little boy with the oriental eyes/momentarily. I think he'll be the enchanted one, he's already got that characteristic. When I held him in my arms he was as sweet and angelic as what I imagine heaven to be, the embodiment of it. About as pure as this life gets, that little child. I wanted to cry, moan, but I heard my daughter doing so again in my head and left it off, it had been done. He was here, I was holding him. I didn't say, you little pain in the arse you, making your mother suffer so for the last week, I guess you think you're worth it huh? I bet you do, you little cheeky thing you. Such an angel, just like your mother. That's you all right, Angelo...
That's what he was alright, about a bright a star as ever there was, lying in my arms, glowing bright, pink, clear eyed, a trust within him that could only grow stronger as he matured.
So that's the baby situation, he's here and he's adorable. Has a good self-preservation thing going on with that innocence and helplessness he has. Very pleased to see him with us. All the family gathered round. Father inlaw offers to get us all coffee as we huddle with the new mother and child, husband hovering. Nurse busily getting baby bathed a second time, which is perfectly within the right of the nature of things, the hospital room so new it squeaks, daughter banded with a blood pressure cuff, clothing minimal and hospital gowned is all, blankets covering the modesty parts, legs numb from epidural. She looks slightly pale but much relieved, says it went quickly and was over by 5pm. Father in law appears with the stragglers a little later and never mentions the coffee which he doesn't have with him and I don't ask.
We go for pot roast at the brotherinlaws house where the mastiff is not in evidence. The food is good,, . \\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\we talk about remodeling the kitchen, it needs an island and skylights to enhance the space, the cupboards could be sanded. I am thinking about havana again and decide I'll think about it further when I get home again, which I do eventually and it is a cool night. The dogs are ecstatic someone has returned to them.
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